27, 28

23 months

On the 27th, we celebrated our 23rd monthsary. oh happy happy day!^_^ Eventhough it was raining that day and we didn’t had an umbrella, it was really fun! we went to greenhills, ate first at our favorite resto - KFC! (cheap and satisfying!) then had his cellphone checked. while waiting for it to be fixed, we went around for a little gift buying. I bought him a new watch, and he bought me a book and a bracelet.

For the record, it was the most happiest celebration of our monthsary. even our first anniversary wasn’t really that special. so i’m kind of planning now on our 2nd. I want it to be extra extra extra special.^_^

Howling winds

28th, it was a very crazy day. the power went out. no signal. and the wind was really angry! i was really scared that day. i had no comfort because i couldn’t contact my boyfriend, as you well know if you read my past entries, he’s my only drug. anyway, i have a phobia for typhoons, and everything that comes along with it - that heavy downpour of rain, and the ranging winds. i was like a child, all curled up in the bed, my mind travelling.  i was thinking of all those poor people, living in the squatters area. i was imagining that while i lie there, quite comfortable, people are hanging on to their roofs and walls to prevent their house from falling apart. i was thinking of all the people not at home, but are elsewhere and i was praying hard for their safety (i really was!)

it was a very crazy day, and indeed, it was a sad day. not because there was no tv, no radio, no cellphone. but because i know, a lot of people had died, been hurt, and will turn homeless. 

transitions

can anyone remember their most priced possesion during their childhood days?

mine was this small pillow. it was pink and rather fluffy. i call it my “babymallows” and can’t sleep without it.

up to know, “babymallows” is still alive. though it is already dressed in blue, babymallows still puts me to sleep. i don’t want to throw it away, cuz if i do, i’ll never have a sleep as good as babymallows puts me into.

i guess, i’m really not that grown-up yet - or i don’t want to grow up yet. its hard to tell. its funny how when i was a kid, i’ve always dreamed of being adult, i just couldn’t wait to grow up. now that i am, i’m wishing that i would stop aging. i envy the kids who have no problems to deal with, problems about life and love.

in fact, i’m kind of scared right now. i’m thinking of what will happen to me when i’m finally living by myself. of course, i would love the freedom, but who would take care of me? no one would be around to comfort me, especially during rainy nights (i am morbidly afraid of thunder and lightning) no one would be around to kill roaches and catch mice. no one would be around to cook for me. no one would be around to wash my clothes. it would be all up to me. its really scary, but its inevitable.

i hope i’ll be ready for it.

how do we measure our time together?

according to the film rent, we can measure time in different ways, in minutes, in diapers, in speeding tickets, etc.

in our case, we can choose to measure it in the number of kisses i planted on your cheek, your lips, your forehead. the number of times i hugged you. the number of times i fall asleep on your shoulder. the number of times you stroke my hair. the number of times you whisper sweet-nothings.

we can measure it by the number of the times we fought. the number of times we made up. the number of times you smile and pinch my cheeks. the number of times you wiped my tears. the number of times you copy the way i act when i’m mad and by the number of times i laugh when you copy me.

we can measure it by the number of times we finish each others’ sentences. the number of times we pick each others’ nose. the number of times we shared a cigarette. the number of times we got drunk together. the number of times we danced without music. the number of times we laugh at our own silliness.

we can measure it by the number of text messages we exchanged. the number of days we’re together and making every minute count. the number of times i let you carry me in your back because i’m too tired to walk. the number of times you wait outside our gate when we fight and give me cheesy fries because you know its the only way to make me cool down. the number of times you tickle my armpits when i get mad.

we can measure it by the “i love you’s” and the “i miss you’s” or the number of times you request for a kiss or a hug, even in words only.

as rent says, and, for us, it’s true…WE MEASURE IT IN LOVE.

I love you Raph.^_^ 

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.

drained

can i borrow your brain?

i seem to have lost mine. 

i am completely drained.

DAMN YOU PE BENITO. DAMN YOU. 

1976

bakit ba ngayon ko lang naisipan na panoorin tong movie na to? its been gathering dust on the shelves and i’ve been ignoring it for too many times. this afternoon though, i’ve got nothing else to watch so i settled for this.

AND IT WAS AMAZING. 

the movie is a vision of new york as hell - an open sore on the body of america.  travis (de niro) is a lonely man. tortured by memories from his service in the marines and lacking someone to confide in, he searches endlessly for a way to escape loneliness and his insomnia. so he decides to be a taxi driver on a night shift. that way, he gets to work long hours, exhausting his body and mind. with this, he is exposed to the true vision of the place : waves of pimps, hustlers, prostitutes, dealers, muggers and the like. travis tries to reaches on the someone to act like a foundation to anchor him. but all that he could see are hookers and filth, and his aimless fellow drivers.

simultaneously repulsed and attracted, travis finds himself obsessed and alienated, unable to relate to anyone. the effect is that through being powerless to change his own situation, travis transfers his attention; he desperately wants to save others, regardless of what they want.