corny

me: magkano pamasahe?

him: onse

me: anong onse?

him: eleven. *laughs*

me: sorry ha, hindi kasi ako well-pinoyed eh.

him: hindi naman pinoy un eh, spanish yun eh.

me: sorry ha, hindi kasi ako well-spained.

NYAK! ^_^ 

nonsense

isn’t it funny that no matter how many times you fight with someone, you’ll always find a way to make-up in an instant?

i mean, why fight in the first place if you already know that you’re going to make-up before you can say “break na tayo!” 

why fight about the silly things, small things that shouldn’t even been noticed? why say hurtful things when you know you’re gonna regret telling them later on? 

why do you have to put up a big fight when you know you’re gonna be the first to say sorry?

why shout instead of understanding? 

isn’t it funny that i’m asking all this questions, yet i don’t know where this post is going?

gaahh.. my brain is melting. too much nicotine, i suppose. 

another one of those days

its days like this that i realize how sad my life is.

its not boring. its not pathetic. its just SAD.

its the feeling when you’re with someone, but you feel all alone. you want to talk but you don’t know what to say. its like watching a sad movie in the middle of a rainy day. its like a rainy day without someone to hug but a pillow. its like wanting to cry but there’s no more tears left. its like wanting to die but still struggling hard to survive.

its days like this that i feel like going on a road trip. the fresh air. my hair dancing in the wind.a time to reflect. a time to re-discover what really matters. a time to search for happiness. a time to search for contentment. a time to talk to myself.

is this what i want? am i content? what do i want? what do i need? 

i try to smile. i try to laugh. i try and try to be happy. i want to be happy. but i feel that i am trapped in a desolate life. is there any way out?

i need my DRUG… 

littering

it was about 2 weeks ago, i was apprehended on my way to school.

crime commited: throwing a piece of candy wrapper.

charge: 1000 pesos

of course, my initial reaction was “1000 pesos?! sa isang pirasong wrapper na piso ko lang binili?! ang dami daming nagtatapon dyan, ako lang ang huhulihin niyo?!”. i was very angry for i was very late for class and these two men were really getting on my nerves. then they gave me a ticket.

“bayaran niyo sa city hall within 5 working days. kung hindi pede kayong makulong.”

“makulong? talaga?”

when i got home, i threw away the ticket that they gave me.  

it was only this day that i’ve realized that i shouldn’t have done that - littering. i’m always talking about how i love this country. how i respect this country. but when i thought about the way i acted that day, i was kind of disgusted with myself.  i got really furious when they apprehended me, while i was the one who had made a mistake.

sure, we can say that “ang dami dami naman nagtatapon diyan eh.” that’s the freaking point, i suppose. yun kasi lagi natin iniisip. madami naman gumagawa. the point is, mali parin. alam naman natin na mali, alam naman natin na madaming gumagawa, bakit naman natin gagayahin?

so, i’m writing to say sorry to you, my philippines. i promise that i will never litter on your grounds again.

ouch

The pain of loving sometimes become too unbearable for words.

It continually stabs me in the heart and defiles my soul. But still the pain is beyond words can ever explain.

You were beside me, riding the bus, on our way home. I stare out the window, drowning your words of apology to nothingness. I am no longer interested in what you have to say. The wind slapping my cheeks doesn’t give me any comfort, nor does your hand on mine. Tears run down my face but I don’t need your handkerchief, nor a kiss nor a hug.

All I want to do is stare out the road, look at the sky and ask “How much long will I have to live with this pain, dear God?”